Donna Niethe

Donna Niethe, age 63, of Wayne, formerly of Newark, Irvington, Clifton, West Orange, and Livingston, passed Wednesday, May 28, 2025.

Donna was born in Newark to Karl and Marilyn Niethe and raised in Irvington. In a memorable family story, when Donna was born, her father Karl was nowhere to be found—he had fallen asleep in the doctor’s office. The family later settled in Wayne, where Donna graduated from Wayne Hills High School with the Class of 1979. She went on to attend William Paterson College in Wayne and later earned her Master’s Degree from Montclair State University in Montclair. Over the years, Donna held various roles, including working at Jamesway in Pompton Plains and as a graphic designer in Fair Lawn and Totowa.

Donna was a gentle and compassionate soul, known for her quiet strength and caring nature. She had a deep love for soccer, playing as a dedicated goalie and even coaching the sport she adored. Donna's talent and determination led her to compete as a member of the U.S. Paralympic Soccer Team, and she also played indoor soccer in Pequannock, where her passion for the game shone brightly. In addition to soccer, Donna found joy in horseback riding and excelled in dressage, earning recognition in several competitions. A true animal lover, she enjoyed watching animal shows, as well as professional wrestling, soccer, and horse racing on television—interests that reflected her spirited and diverse personality.

Donna had a simple and particular palate when it came to food—she never liked onions on her cheeseburgers and always made sure to ask for them without. She also had no interest in spicy food, preferring milder flavors that didn’t overwhelm her taste buds. Her food preferences became a running joke among family and friends, who knew Donna’s order by heart and lovingly teased her about her aversion to anything with a kick.

Donna was born with a mild form of cerebral palsy, a condition that challenged her balance and made her the target of teasing during her early years. But Donna refused to be defined or limited by her disability. Determined to prove herself, she achieved far beyond what others believed possible. She fell in love with soccer and, despite the physical obstacles, became a skilled goalie, ultimately earning a spot on the United States Cerebral Palsy Athletics Association's National Soccer Team. Her passion extended beyond playing; she also dedicated several years to coaching, inspiring others with her resilience and love for the game. Donna also found freedom in a second sport—horseback riding. What began as therapeutic riding became a source of joy and empowerment, as she felt completely unburdened by her disability while on horseback. With a deep sense of pride in her journey, Donna often said she wouldn’t change a single thing about her life. She lived by the motto, “Quitters never win, and winners never quit,” a philosophy she embodied every day.

This was read at Donna's Funeral Service:

Today, we gather in this room to celebrate the life of a remarkable woman—Donna. In her quiet strength, boundless compassion, and unwavering spirit, she touched each of us in unique and lasting ways.

But instead of us speaking about her, Donna wanted to speak to us—one last time.

What you’re about to hear is an open letter, written from Donna’s own point of view. It’s not just a eulogy—it’s her voice, her heart, and her goodbye. Though she is no longer physically with us, her words remind us that love, laughter, and memory never truly leave.

So now, with love and reverence, we share this letter from Donna… to all of us.

An Open Letter from Donna:

I was born with a mild form of cerebral palsy, which meant I walked with a scissor gait, and had a little trouble with my balance and coordination. At times, I was laughed at and teased. I was always the one who was 'different'. Little did those bullies (or I), know what was to come later on in my life; and how I turned around all the negativity I've experienced, to help me achieve things no one else ever thought possible, and prove them all wrong.

A friend took me to a Cosmos soccer game in 1979, and I became hooked on soccer. I spent 5 years watching and analyzing 'the beautiful game'. Then I finally got up the courage to try it. I showed up for the first night of indoor play (in a high school gym) in a rec league, and there were only men players. I had determined the best position for me to play was as a goalkeeper, and having those years of experience studying both of the Cosmos goalkeepers, I knew it would pay off. Playing with (and against) players who are much better than you is the best way to elevate your own game; no matter what sport it is. The more I played with and alongside men, the sharper my skills, quickness, and reading of the game grew. I had a friend who lives in NJ, who drove out to Long Island every weekend for either practice or games. Initially I went with her to keep her company, but eventually started playing in some tournaments as well.

Every year they have a big tournament, and teams come from all over to participate in it. One of the coaches, whose team we had played against, approached me about playing in goal for his team in a tournament in Florida, as I accepted his invitation, and played well. A few weeks later, I was back in Long Island playing in an indoor tournament. One of the refs during the tournament noticed me, and asked about my disability. He had a friend who coached the USCPAA (United States Cerebral Palsy Athletics Association) National Soccer Team, and he wanted my contact information. The coach did call me, three times while I was in Florida, and requested a tape of me for them to review. The only game footage I had was from the tournament in Florida; which I sent for their review. A week later, I was invited to tryout for the US National Team, all expenses paid - a trip to Texas, with a lot on the line. I had nothing to lose, and everything to gain. It was the culmination of everything I had been through, the reason why - I knew this day would come!

We had practice three times a day, and mid-afternoon, the coaches pulled me aside and told me that I made the team, I was elated! The team got together two or three times a year to train, and the rest of the time you were on your own. At that time, the focus was on the Paralympic Games coming up in 1996 in Atlanta, Georgia. The only thing standing in my way was that coaches/countries from South America would not allow co-ed play, and even after a few appeals through the appropriate Governing Bodies, sadly, permission was not granted. Knowing I was ranked no.1, and would have played in goal in Atlanta, for my country, is still a huge honor and privilege to this day. My ranking was earned, not given, and there's a big difference between the two.

There's a lot of hard work that goes into maintaining your fitness and agility during your 'off' season, and riding was a very good way of filling that void.

In addition to playing soccer, I wanted to coach it as well. So I took the necessary licensing courses so I could do that. I loved coaching, especially within the 'Buddy Ball' program, (where a child would have a volunteer guide them through the game, offering as much, or as little, help as needed). I was coaching a group of kids, ages 5 to 10, with physical and mental challenges. The parents would say that all their kids would talk about during the week was 'Soccer Saturday', and asked why it took so long to get here every week!

There was one young boy who came each week, but he wouldn't join in and play with the rest of the kids. He wouldn't leave his mother's side, he was too frightened; but he didn't want to leave until the session was over. For weeks the volunteer 'buddies' tried to persuade him to play, to no avail. Finally, I decided it was my turn. I went to him and asked if he wanted to play, that I would be his 'buddy', but only with his mom's permission, of course, and that I would hold his hand the entire time. I could sense his hesitancy, and then I remembered something. He was fascinated with my whistle - a shiny silver one, hanging on its cord, around my neck. I asked if he could help me, by blowing the whistle when I told him to, during the course of play and the end of the session. That was it - the connection he needed, finally something he felt comfortable with. It took about four weeks, but he came out of his shell, he was soon running and playing with the rest of the kids, coming to me when it was time to blow the whistle. To me, nothing is more important than making a difference in life of a child; that even if I only help one child, it's all worth it.

Simultaneously, along with soccer, came my second sport - riding. After finally getting a doctor's clearance, I was able to start therapeutic riding with horses. The warmth of the horse relaxes muscles that are stiff, and helps bring your body back into its natural alignment. I always felt so much better after my riding lesson, even though it was painful, I thought of it as the best physical therapy I could ever have. Riding is a full body workout, and it helped keep me in shape for soccer during the off season. The thing I loved the most, is when on a horse, no one could tell I had a disability, only when I got off. It was so much fun to compete at horse shows, many, many hours of practice come down to only a few minutes in the ring, so you have only one chance to get it right!

That was then, and this is now. So much has changed physically with my body. It has become a battle, and I have lost the war. Slowly but surely I lost the abilities to walk, stand, and transfer, and I am now in a powerchair. I fought as long and as hard as I could to stay out of my wheelchair.

I have no regrets, and if I had the chance I wouldn't change a thing, because I wouldn't be the same person that I am today. All things considered, I think I've turned out alright! I've lived by this motto: "Quitters never win, and winners never quit".

And so, as I bring this letter to a close, know that you leave today with a heart full of gratitude—for the life Donna lived, for the love she received, and for each of you who helped make her journey so meaningful.

Please don’t remember Donna in sadness, but in the quiet moments of laughter, in the warmth of shared stories, and in the everyday beauty of a life marked by courage and grace. Remember her not in grief, but in gratitude—for the strength she showed in the face of challenges, and for the way she turned that strength into inspiration for others.

Live fully. Love deeply. And never forget—Donna is still with you. Just beyond the veil of sight, her memory endures. And as you meet life’s challenges, know she is there, cheering you on with every step.

Donna was dearly loved by her father Karl Niethe, her late mother Marilyn Niethe (d.2016) and her late sister Robin Niethe (d.1961); her brothers: Kevin and his wife Karen Niethe and Glenn Niethe all of Wayne; and her 3 nephews Zachary, Aaron, and Corey Niethe. She will be dearly missed by her aunts, uncles, cousins, and friends. 

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Flowers would be welcomed. Those considering a donation in lieu of flowers are asked to consider a memorial donation to the Carousel Horsemanship Pompton Plains.