Office Hours: Monday – Friday, 9:00 AM – 5:00 PM
Calls outside of office hours? No worries! Our team will respond within 10–15 minutes.
August 6, 2011
Services
Friends and family are welcome to visit at the Vander May Wayne Colonial Funeral Home on 567 Ratzer Road on Wednesday, August 10, at 2-4 and 7-9 pm.
Funeral services will be held at Our Lady of the Valley R.C. Church (For directions, see www.olvwayne.org ) on Thursday, August 11 at 9:30 am.
Helen Barker, daughter of Cornelius and Tekla Kuiper, died on August 6, 2011, surrounded by family members in her home in Wayne. She was born in North Arlington NJ on January 1, 1929, and was married to Ray Barker, who died in 1991. Together they raised 5 children, in Clifton and in Wayne, NJ.
A non-traditional mother, Helen was more likely to be found climbing trees or digging holes with her children than baking. She was an avid student, artist, and athlete. She went to college only after having five children, caring for the children all day and taking classes at night, and earned a teaching degree. Her biggest challenge occurred in 1974 when a misdiagnosed epidermal abscess caused her to become a paraplegic. After a year of rehabilitation at Rusk Institute, Helen was able to drive, play wheelchair tennis, and carry on most of the activities she had always excelled in. She taught 3rd grade and was a substitute teacher in Wayne, NJ schools, but was not able to continue her teaching career, as most of the schools did not yet have handicapped access or facilities. She tutored local children, and taught art and painting to relatives and neighbors. She also became an activist for handicapped rights. She was a member of the Achilles Club, which held wheelchair rallies, and she received her black belt in Taikwondo when she was in her sixties, with her graduation exercise televised on a major NYC television station. How we enjoyed that smug look we all knew, as she confidently smashed a block of wood in half and nodded with satisfaction!
She dearly loved the idea of travel, but got little chance to travel herself, and enjoyed vicariously the travels of her friends and family. She did go to Italy with her daughter Jeanne, where she drank in the art and atmosphere and chatted with Pope John Paul II at the Vatican, and this trip was one of the millstones of her life. Her other trips- to the Catskills, to Florida, the Concord Hotel in the Catskills, to Gettysburg, were part of family lore and we all so wished our curious, lively, loving Helen could have traveled the whole world.
She did not live a life of regret, though, and rose to every challenge. She made being paralyzed look easy. Her list of physical maladies- heart attack, blood clot, lung cancer, arthritis, bedsore, etc- was daunting, but she seldom showed anything but delight in her friends and relatives. She spent the last 3 years in bed, and though the loss of her privacy and independence and mobility pained her greatly, she found ways to adapt. She had never quite mastered the personal computer, but used her iPod touch as a window to the world. We all received her 3 am ( She was always a night owl, but because of pain was not able to sleep through the night for many years.) emails, and she ordered food and organized photographs, squinting and poking away happily.
She loved games and gambling and her poker games with Roz and Frank, Dee and Richard, and Judy and Ronnie, and didn't know when she died that she was sitting on 20 dollars of winnings from scratch tickets. She loved her plants and flowers, playing with her ipad, going out to dinner, megamillions and playing the slots. She made elaborate plans for the million dollars she planned to win in the lottery, but never depended on money to be happy. With her friends, she enjoyed costume parties, crafts, and the pleasure of hours of conversation, and alone she drew and painted and watched old movies. She loved life, she delighted in people, good food, art, and music and she lived with grace and strength every single day of an often difficult life.
Her beloved husband, Ray Barker, died in 1991 from emphysema incurred after a mid-air collision in 1965. After Ray's retirement for health reasons from ITT in the 1980's, Helen and Ray were able to travel together to visit children and friends, which brought them great joy. Helen was Ray's sole caretaker when his health deteriorated he was placed on a respirator and her loving care enabled him to die at home. They were still in love, and because of that love, we all felt we were a most fortunate family.
Helen leaves behind her children Kathy Barker, Patricia Chiarello, Jeanne Barker, Robin Farrell, and Ray Barker; son-in-laws Alan Aderem, Neil Chiarello, Jim Baity, and J.D. Farrell; and grandchildren Zoe, Zan, and Sasha Barker-Aderem, Curt and Keith Grevenitz, and Kendra and Quinn Baity. When her grandchildren were young, it was her tradition to take each one on his or her birthday to Toys R Us, and then to the Pancake House: while Helen didn't complain, not being able to treat her grandchildren to a meal or any kind of trip in her last few years was one of her biggest sadnesses.
Helen's family would like to thank the people who helped her through her last days. The care of Velma Johnson and Dora Maharaj enabled Helen to remain in her own home, something very important to her. St. Barnabas Hospice provided people, medication, and advice that not only helped Helen be finally free from pain, but also helped her family to support her.
In lieu of flowers, please consider donations to the Make-A-Wish Foundation of America (see www.wish.org),
If you would like to send a private condolence directly to the family use this condolence section.
Friends and family are welcome to visit at the Vander May Wayne Colonial Funeral Home on 567 Ratzer Road on Wednesday, August 10, at 2-4 and 7-9 pm.
Funeral services will be held at Our Lady of the Valley R.C. Church (For directions, see www.olvwayne.org ) on Thursday, August 11 at 9:30 am.
August 6, 2011
Services
Friends and family are welcome to visit at the Vander May Wayne Colonial Funeral Home on 567 Ratzer Road on Wednesday, August 10, at 2-4 and 7-9 pm.
Funeral services will be held at Our Lady of the Valley R.C. Church (For directions, see www.olvwayne.org ) on Thursday, August 11 at 9:30 am.
Helen Barker, daughter of Cornelius and Tekla Kuiper, died on August 6, 2011, surrounded by family members in her home in Wayne. She was born in North Arlington NJ on January 1, 1929, and was married to Ray Barker, who died in 1991. Together they raised 5 children, in Clifton and in Wayne, NJ.
A non-traditional mother, Helen was more likely to be found climbing trees or digging holes with her children than baking. She was an avid student, artist, and athlete. She went to college only after having five children, caring for the children all day and taking classes at night, and earned a teaching degree. Her biggest challenge occurred in 1974 when a misdiagnosed epidermal abscess caused her to become a paraplegic. After a year of rehabilitation at Rusk Institute, Helen was able to drive, play wheelchair tennis, and carry on most of the activities she had always excelled in. She taught 3rd grade and was a substitute teacher in Wayne, NJ schools, but was not able to continue her teaching career, as most of the schools did not yet have handicapped access or facilities. She tutored local children, and taught art and painting to relatives and neighbors. She also became an activist for handicapped rights. She was a member of the Achilles Club, which held wheelchair rallies, and she received her black belt in Taikwondo when she was in her sixties, with her graduation exercise televised on a major NYC television station. How we enjoyed that smug look we all knew, as she confidently smashed a block of wood in half and nodded with satisfaction!
She dearly loved the idea of travel, but got little chance to travel herself, and enjoyed vicariously the travels of her friends and family. She did go to Italy with her daughter Jeanne, where she drank in the art and atmosphere and chatted with Pope John Paul II at the Vatican, and this trip was one of the millstones of her life. Her other trips- to the Catskills, to Florida, the Concord Hotel in the Catskills, to Gettysburg, were part of family lore and we all so wished our curious, lively, loving Helen could have traveled the whole world.
She did not live a life of regret, though, and rose to every challenge. She made being paralyzed look easy. Her list of physical maladies- heart attack, blood clot, lung cancer, arthritis, bedsore, etc- was daunting, but she seldom showed anything but delight in her friends and relatives. She spent the last 3 years in bed, and though the loss of her privacy and independence and mobility pained her greatly, she found ways to adapt. She had never quite mastered the personal computer, but used her iPod touch as a window to the world. We all received her 3 am ( She was always a night owl, but because of pain was not able to sleep through the night for many years.) emails, and she ordered food and organized photographs, squinting and poking away happily.
She loved games and gambling and her poker games with Roz and Frank, Dee and Richard, and Judy and Ronnie, and didn't know when she died that she was sitting on 20 dollars of winnings from scratch tickets. She loved her plants and flowers, playing with her ipad, going out to dinner, megamillions and playing the slots. She made elaborate plans for the million dollars she planned to win in the lottery, but never depended on money to be happy. With her friends, she enjoyed costume parties, crafts, and the pleasure of hours of conversation, and alone she drew and painted and watched old movies. She loved life, she delighted in people, good food, art, and music and she lived with grace and strength every single day of an often difficult life.
Her beloved husband, Ray Barker, died in 1991 from emphysema incurred after a mid-air collision in 1965. After Ray's retirement for health reasons from ITT in the 1980's, Helen and Ray were able to travel together to visit children and friends, which brought them great joy. Helen was Ray's sole caretaker when his health deteriorated he was placed on a respirator and her loving care enabled him to die at home. They were still in love, and because of that love, we all felt we were a most fortunate family.
Helen leaves behind her children Kathy Barker, Patricia Chiarello, Jeanne Barker, Robin Farrell, and Ray Barker; son-in-laws Alan Aderem, Neil Chiarello, Jim Baity, and J.D. Farrell; and grandchildren Zoe, Zan, and Sasha Barker-Aderem, Curt and Keith Grevenitz, and Kendra and Quinn Baity. When her grandchildren were young, it was her tradition to take each one on his or her birthday to Toys R Us, and then to the Pancake House: while Helen didn't complain, not being able to treat her grandchildren to a meal or any kind of trip in her last few years was one of her biggest sadnesses.
Helen's family would like to thank the people who helped her through her last days. The care of Velma Johnson and Dora Maharaj enabled Helen to remain in her own home, something very important to her. St. Barnabas Hospice provided people, medication, and advice that not only helped Helen be finally free from pain, but also helped her family to support her.
In lieu of flowers, please consider donations to the Make-A-Wish Foundation of America (see www.wish.org),
Guestbook