Sonja Zagar

It is with great sadness that we announce the passing of Sonja Zagar, age 83. Sonja died peacefully at Arbor Terrace in Morris Plains on Wednesday, January 25, 2023.

Sonja was born in 1939 and raised in the small farming village of Lukoran, Croatia on the island of Uglijan along the Adriatic Sea. She was the oldest daughter of five children. It was war-time with her father, (late) Kuzman Roncevic, stationed at sea serving as a cook, while big brother (late) Sergio went to work each day as a carpenter apprentice for no pay. Her mother, (late) Josica Baric Roncevic remained at home working tirelessly, caring for the farm, Grandmother, and all of the other elders either living in the home or on nearby properties.

By age 10, Sonja became like a mother to her two younger sisters, Senka and Kathy “Biskera”, and her baby brother (late) Zeljko. When not in school, Sonja helped run the household, cleaning and cooking, while raising her siblings. At that time, no residence had running water resulting in continuous trips to the well. No electricity either but rather a huge, wooden fireplace in the kitchen to cook over and provide heat. 

Biserka recalls how as a child, she would pretend to fall asleep in front of that fire, only so her big sister had to carry her up the flights of stairs and gently tuck her into bed, all the while silently giggling. Or when Sonja would let them play outside climbing the many olive, fig and fruit trees, without a care in the world. The goats, sheep, pigs and chickens were their pets, except for the cows. It was an island, there were no cows! The Roncevic’s farmed many types of vegetables and made their own wine. Senka recalls climbing into the empty barrels for Sonja to playfully roll them around, hearing the laughter, until they were dizzy and sick to their stomaches. 

Sonja took classes to learn how to be a seamstress and made clothes for the family. She was a natural and preferred dresses with cute ribbons and fake pearls, rather than boys trousers with tedious zippers. At age 3, Zeljko wanted to help. She would wrap the tape measure around his head, his ear, and belly, as he giggled with delight for winning her attention and inclusion. That was Sonja — she loved children, spoiled them, and brought fun into their life in simple, memorable ways. 

When Josica would go into town, Sonja was entrusted to ensure the chores got done. Instead she too would play until she saw from a distance mother walking home to then quickly rally her siblings, hiding piles of laundry and other to-do’s under the bed and rugs. Occasionally, visitors brought fancy, hard candies as treats. However, Sonja would secretly save her stash all year long to fill the children’s Christmas stockings, rather than have them only find almonds and dried figs from Santa. 

In 1959, at age 19, Sonja received the opportunity to visit her mother’s twin, Aunt Mary, and husband Uncle Joe in the United States. Having received postcards over the years she was so excited. Imagine her surprise when she flew into JFK Airport to embrace city life and opportunity. Aunt introduced her to Milan “Milo” Zagar, a hard-working carpenter, and they married in 1960. Her family was truly heartbroken when they received word of no returning to the homeland.

Sonja and Milo settled in West New York and while residing there, they welcomed the birth of their first daughter, Frances (after his favorite singer, Connie Francis) and she was joined in 1963 by Sandra (after the actress Sandra Dee). That same year they moved from their one-bedroom apartment to a two-family house in North Bergen. Sonja loved meeting up with her mom-friends, pushing their strollers and window shopping along the avenue. 

By 1967, the family moved again, this time to Fairfield, a hidden-gem of a new planned community in Essex County, offering customizable homes built to suit, with plenty of green space for the kids to run, bike and play. It was the American Dream! 

Sonja had many responsibilities at 64 Henning Drive. Milo would say, “you take care of the inside, and I’ll take care of the outside.” This declaration was one of the greatest successes of their marriage. 

Sonja was a full-time homemaker. She volunteered at St. Thomas More and the girls Catholic elementary school — taught aerobics in gym, and lunch and library duty, plus Girls Scouts afterwards. She made her daughters’ Halloween costumes and quizzed them for their tests. She took them skating at the pond in winter and to the Caldwell Beach Club in summer. She also worked part-time selling costume jewelry for Sarah Coventry at-home parties. She treasured getting together with her fellow housewives for “cake and coffee klatches,” tennis lessons and trips to Bamberger’s at the Willowbrook Mall. She loved seeing the latest fashions and enjoyed visiting the salon, trying out new hairstyles, cuts and color. So much so that when her third daughter came along in 1970, she was given the name Stacy (after Sonja’s hairstylist). 

In 1975, Sonja and Milo separated. By this time Josica and her siblings were living in the U.S., so she and the girls returned to be near the family in Hudson and Bergen Counties. Sonja fell on hard times again taking on three jobs to provide for her children. Being an immigrant she knew how to stretch a dollar, and there was the invention of the Crock Pot. The girls remember those creative meals using Campbell’s soup and also ordering pizza and calzones on Friday nights during Lent. But Sonja insisted on making nutritious snacks…date bread anyone?

Sonja had a strong Catholic faith and was prayerful. Sundays were a time for mass followed by lunch with extended family and friends. She had been a parishioner of St. Thomas More RC Church of Fairfield, St. Brendan’s of North Bergen, and later St Joseph’s of Lincoln Park. She was also a long-time member of the Rosary Society.

Despite always having to be so responsible, Sonja’s car of choice was her 1972 two-door, sport, Pontiac LeMans. It was flaming orange, black leather interior with bucket seats, like that on The Dukes of Hazzard TV show. On days off in the summer Sonja would pack the girls in and head to the Shore to bake in the sun and teach them to ride the waves. They spent overnights in Philly visiting more of their extended Roncevic family. She also wouldn’t miss Stacy’s baton twirling or cheerleading competitions. Sonja enjoyed dancing at the disco, fancy family weddings, and celebrating the girls birthdays, not that she had much time to put her feet up. She went from job to job to job leaving Fran and Sandra when they weren't working to care for Stacy. Or the sisters just brought her along to their after school sports and also to their job at Dunkin where she helped fill the donuts.

In 1983, after another move to Clifton, she became a sales associate for Macy’s in the Fine Jewelry, Gold and Diamonds departments. Sonja was their top sales associate for numerous years and received letters of gratitude from customers. She became a Lifelong member of the Jack LaLanne Health Club, starting out as a fan in the 1960s, following his moves on the black and white Zenith TV. Sonja had a great interest in nutrition and always loved baking. Every Christmas season she spent a long day off with the girls making dozens of cookies to give away to loved ones. This tradition held for decades with the year 2000 holding top spot as the most baked in one day - 25 different recipes of cookie!

Sonja continued to excel at her job and purchased a condo in Lincoln Park in 1987. She taught Let’s Get Physical aerobics at the township adult school and also made friends on her power walks around the community and at the nearby senior home. No matter where Sonja was or resided, she made friends. She would not just make someone’s acquaintance but created life-long friendships. She also supported both her brothers through their illnesses, helped the family care for their aging mother who had Alzheimer’s Disease, and also eventually aging Aunt Mary.

With her daughters married, she gained wonderful son-in-laws and over the years Sonja became a grandmother to six, three boys and three girls. Everyone loved visiting Grandmum’s! She could often be found running around with them at the playground and playing basketball, bringing out her own inner child. She was the best babysitter who made sleepovers extra fun—playing card games and Candyland, making pancakes with strawberries, snuggling and reciting Croatian prayers at nightly tuck-ins. They frequently traveled to Six Flags Great Adventure and other parks where Sonja went on all the rides, even the loop-de-loop coasters!

By formal definition, Mother is: a woman in relation to her children, an important female figure, the head of a community, an elderly woman. This is Sonja. She will forever be remembered as a truly devoted mother and grandmother, a strong-willed woman with an outstanding work ethic. She was tenacious in everything she did in life. She had a wonderful way about herself and could light up any room upon entering. She had an infectious personality bringing smiles to the faces of those around her. Sonja was a giving and generous lady who made friends wherever she went, and wherever she went, she always looked her best. 

She was a truly special person who touched the lives of everyone around her and will be sorely missed by everyone that knew her. Her legacy will be carried on by her children and grandchildren, now grown men and women, whom she loved and adored with pride.

Sonja is survived by her three daughters: Frances Allen and husband Mark of Sea Girt, NJ; Sandra Ennis and husband Larry of Chester, NJ; and Stacy Maldonado and husband Luis of Sparta, NJ; her two sisters: Kathy (Biserka) Brown and husband Joseph of Somerset, NJ, Senka Petric and husband Miljenko of Jupiter, FL, two sister-in-laws: Seka Roncevic of Haworth, NJ and Gail Roncevic of Haworth, NJ; six grandchildren; Casey Ennis and wife Lana of New York City, NY, Kayla Allen of Somerville, MA, Meghan Allen of Asbury Park, NJ, Samantha Allen of Waltham, MA, Jack Maldonado of Sparta, NJ, and Riley Maldonado of Sparta, NJ, and many loving nieces and nephews. She was predeceased by her brothers Sergio Roncevic and Zeljko Roncevic.

Those planning to make a donation in Sonja Zagar’s name are asked to consider St. Jude Children’s Research Hospital, Memorial Processing, 501 St Jude Place Memphis, TN 38105-9959. www.stjude.org or Michael J. Fox Foundation, 469 7th Ave, New York, NY 10018 www.michaeljfox.org