Thomas Elliot Tatum, Jr.

Thomas Elliott Tatem, Jr, age 74, of Wayne, passed away on Saturday, May 11, 2019.

Born in Paterson, Tom grew up in Glen Rock where, as a student at Glen Rock High School, he excelled in sports, most notably football and track. In fact, he held the school record in sprinting for many years, only to see it be broken by future Olympic gold medalist Carl Lewis. After graduating with the Class of 1962, Tom set off in pursuit of a bachelor’s degree in business administration from Denison University in Granville, Ohio. From there it was his father’s desire that Tom study law. He started attending Penn State’s Dickinson School of Law but cut it short when tragedy struck his family. His dear younger brother William, who was just finishing high school lost his life suddenly in an automobile accident. This event devastated his entire family and Tom thought it best to be closer to home. He was able to become a police officer for the Lavallette Police Department and worked in law enforcement for several years while keeping close ties with his parents and sister. Eventually, he returned to school, this time at Michigan State University where he earned a master’s degree in marketing. Fresh out of Michigan State, Tom launched a career with Exxon Corporation that would ultimately span more than thirty years and see him rise to the rank of marketing executive.

One evening at a place called Joey Harrisons in Clifton, Tom had the pleasure of a meeting a young lady from that town named Barbara Ryaby. It was through a mutual friend that they encountered each other and a loving relationship quickly developed going forward. Tom and Barbara both seemed to love the Jersey shore and so they spent a good portion of their dating time down in the West Point Island section of Lavallette – a place where Tom’s family had a home and where he spent entire summers since his childhood. One night, while out at the Manor in West Orange, Tom wanted to express his sincere love for Barbara and his wish for them to be married. Undaunted by the fact that he didn’t have an engagement ring for her at that very moment, he quickly fashioned one from a swizzle stick and slid it on her ring finger. Soon after, they went down the shore and one day while walking on the boardwalk along White Avenue in Lavallette, Tom proudly presented Barbara with a real engagement ring. Soon after, they married, exchanging their wedding promises to one another before God, family and friends at St. Mary’s Church in Passaic on Saturday, October 20, 1973. After a reception in that very place where Tom had presented Barbara the swizzle stick engagement ring, they honeymooned on the beautiful Caribbean island of Curacao.

The newlyweds first home together was in West Paterson, now known as Woodland Park, where they stayed for a year before purchasing their own home at 55 Carlos Drive in Fairfield. It was there that Tom and Barbara were blessed with the births of all three of their children. For that reason alone, that house in Fairfield held special memories but alas, it got to be too small so, in 1979, they moved into a home they had built in Wayne – the home where Tom remained for the rest of his life.

Tom’s love affair with Lavallette’s West Point Island remained with him well beyond his childhood and all throughout his adult life. As a teenager, he served there as a lifeguard, and the family’s beach home became a place where he was also able to make great memories with his own children and grandchildren. That tradition continues to this day and into the future for his family. A big sports fan, Tom’s allegiances were always for the New York Giants and Penn State University’s Nittany Lions football team. Tom also had a unique love for collecting duck decoys – the origin of this interest no one in his family can explain, and he was also not ashamed to tell you that he loved to go shopping. If Barbara and his daughters were planning a trip to the mall, Tom always could think of something that he “desperately needed” to pick up, and he was especially fond of anything made by Ralph Lauren or Polo.

Above all else, Tom’s greatest love and loyalty was for his family. When his son and two daughters were growing up, there could be just a few parents cheering their kids on at their soccer, football, track, basketball, baseball, cheerleading and ballet events and Tom was always one of them. He was also so proud to serve as one of Tommy’s soccer coaches in the town league. By the time his kids were adults, they had seen most of the United States and all the great this country has to offer. Good times together took place at the beach house in Lavallette and also at their beach house in Sand Key, Florida, and during that awesome family vacation to Hawaii. Retirement allowed for even more free time and Tom used it well, traveling with Barbara throughout much of Europe including Italy, France, England, Scotland, and Ireland, and also to Alaska and Canada, and enjoying one of his greatest passions - being an awesome grandpa by gladly babysitting and attending his grandchildren’s many activities.

Tom began to experience health challenges starting with a heart attack in 2006. He was evaluated for a heart transplant, but because he had peripheral arterial disease, he was put on a B-list. Instead he opted for alternative coronary bypass surgery. The physician who performed that surgery recommended that Tom try seeking a heart transplant at Newark Beth Israel Hospital. Much to Tom and his family’s delight, Newark Beth Israel Hospital accepted him for the surgery. In fact Tom’s was the first such surgery for a patient like Tom with peripheral arterial disease and it changed transplant protocol allowing other patients to be viable candidates also. During his illness and recovery, Sandy, his golden retriever and loving friend was always by his side as a true companion. It was also a time where his faith in God experienced noticeable growth, thanks in large part to the priest from St. Mary’s Church paying faithful visits.

Tom’s quiet, gentle spirit made for a man whose company his family and friends surely enjoyed. Modest in nature, he chose to take a keen interest in others as opposed to talking about himself.

Tom was the beloved husband of Barbara; loving father of: Tommy Tatem of Randolph, Kristy and husband Jonathan McLellan of Ridgewood, and Kerry and husband Jake Beeman of Ho-Ho-Kus; adoring grandfather of: Chloe, Haleigh, Georgia, Peyton, Tommy, Presley, Charley, Hadley, Finley, and Emma; and loving brother of Judy and husband Philip MacPeek of Neptune, and the late William Tatem (1967).

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In lieu of flowers, those planning an expression of sympathy in Tom’s name are asked to consider:

Newark Beth Israel Medical Center, Heart Transplant,

201 Lyons Ave., G2, Newark, NJ 07112.

Please make check payable to: Newark Beth Israel Medical Center.

On the memo line indicate: “In memory of Thomas E. Tatem, Jr.”

You may also give online at: www.newarkbethgiving.org.

Please click on “Give for Good Health; Designation; Heart Transplant".