Vivian Raspantini

Vivian Raspantini, age 75, of Pompton Lakes and formerly of Totowa, passed away peacefully at home on Wednesday, July 19, 2023 while in the caring and loving comfort of her family. 

Vivian was born in Paterson and raised there in the family home located at 20 Murray Ave. She was the first-born of Alexander and Erma (Marranzini) Romei’s two children. 

Vivian was a graduate of Central High School’s Class of 1964. It was at school that she met the love of her life, Frank Raspantini. Viv’s girlfriend Jeannie wanted so much for Vivian to meet Frank. One day at school, as soon as the bell rang, Vivian and Jeannie raced through the hall to the classroom they knew Frank would be exiting. As they stood in the hall, Frank came out and they made some small talk. In time, Jeannie’s plan worked and Vivian and Frank went on their first date. They saw a movie at the drive-in theater on Union Boulevard in Totowa. It was a double date and Frank and Vivian were in the back seat of the car. When asked what movie they saw, Frank could not recall. It must have been a great date! 

When Frank got drafted into the U.S. Army, he served in the ceremonial unit in Washington, D.C. One year, for the Christmas holidays, Frank came home on leave. During a snowy night on Christmas Eve, while at Viv’s house, Frank asked her to marry him. Of course, she said “Yes!” Four months later, on Sunday, April 23, 1967, Vivian and Frank exchanged their wedding vows before God, family and friends at Our Lady of Pompei R.C. Church in Paterson. The wedding ceremony was followed by a joyous reception at Nesters in Little Falls and a honeymoon in Miami Beach, Florida. After the wedding Frank had to finish his Army service so he and Vivian, began their life as husband and wife living in an apartment off of the Army base in Arlington, Virginia. Six months later Vivian and Frank returned home to NJ and moved into the downstairs apartment in that same house on Murray Ave where Vivian had spent her childhood. One night, Vivian convinced her mother to play along with a gag she dreamed up in her mischievous mind. You see, Frank had a habit of going to bed a little later than everyone else so, while he was watching television, Vivian and her mother switched beds. With the late night shows over, Frank turned off the TV and headed for his room. He crawled into his bed and leaned over to give Vivian a kiss goodnight only to realize that he was kissing his mother-in-law.

Eventually Vivian and Frank purchased their own home in Totowa at 58 Washington Place. There, they were blessed with two beautiful daughters, Christina and Lisa. Vivian lovingly cared for her girls and gave them and Frank a warm and loving home. When Christina and Lisa reached the age of relative independence, Vivian took a job as a teacher’s aide at School 14 in Paterson. She assisted in the kindergarten classroom and she loved being in that environment, helping and encouraging those little children. She worked for Paterson Schools for 20 years, starting in 2000 until retiring in 2020. In 2018, after 41 years in their house in Totowa, she and Frank moved to Pompton Lakes.  

Viv’s favorite time of year was summer when she and Frank could always be found down the Jersey shore at their summer condo on the beach in Brigantine. Vivian was a true fan of all that life down the shore had to offer – warm sun, sandy beaches, and the ocean waves. Along with her love of the shore, Viv’s greatest pastimes included cooking and baking and spending time with her family, including her three grandchildren who she simply adored. Thursday nights the family always got together for dinner at Vivian and Frank’s house. Vivian had fun surprising  them with new recipes and, if you asked her family, Vivian’s cooking could have won awards. Frank and her daughter Lisa raved about her lasagna while her daughter Christina gave a double thumbs up to her eggplant. Being a really great baker too, Vivian loved her sweets and her home always smelled delicious, just like the local bakery. 

Vivian simply adored her family. A huge highlight was having them all together for a trip to Italy to celebrate her and Frank’s 50th wedding anniversary. She cherished her grandchildren, Zach, Madison, and Aiden. They called her “Mom-Mom” and she was their biggest cheerleader at every one of their sporting events and she loved it when they came to visit her. They were always welcome and she spoiled them like they were kings and queens. 

Vivian was the true matriarch of the family. She knew what she wanted and she did things her way. Her son-in-law Patrick called her “The General” but, behind that strong nature was a caring, selfless woman who loved people and who would do anything for her family, friends, or really anyone if she could help. She loved her children and grandchildren so much and she’d often worry about them. Vivian had a warm heart and the friendliest of personalities. In fact, it was perfectly natural for her to strike up a conversation with a total stranger that she’d meet in a store or on the beach. Her energetic loving spirit will be surely missed but her family gives thanks for the true gift that she was to them and will always fondly cherish the memories and feel blessed for the privilege of having had her in their lives.    

Vivian was the beloved wife of Frank, blessed in marriage for 56 years; loving mother of Christina Ciancitto and husband Patrick of Pompton Lakes, and Lisa Vaughan and husband Thomas of Nutley; and adoring grandmother of Zachary Vaughan and Madison and Aiden Ciancitto. She was predeceased by her parents Alexander and Erma Romei, and her brother John Romei.  

In lieu of flowers, those planning an expression of sympathy in Vivian’s name are asked to consider St. Jude Children’s Research Hospital, Memorial Processing, 501 St. Jude Place, Memphis, TN 38105-9959, or online at stjude.org